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那是一只吃记忆的虫
它蚕食着发生的每一刻
它的体长与”过去”相等
它啃食着我，我只有忍耐
并且最终要学会忍耐
它大概又等同于孤独

我需要着什么
并尽可能想知道需要什么
也许是幸福
也许是发生点没道理的事情
也许是停止思考
这个时候我羡慕他们的信仰

可我到底是渎神的
所以我走进那么多庙宇和教堂
最后还是走出门
吸一口烟沉浸在自己的疲倦里
啊，这种疲倦，就是那只虫
就是不停搏动的心脏

傍晚，红绿灯不停叮当地交替
教堂钟楼叮当地报时
它们都有停下来休息的时候
警笛和恶鸟虽然还会叫一整夜
虽然我屏息却仍感受到搏动
那只虫它不是没有它悲剧的色彩

2025年6月9日

Confession

There is a worm that feeds on memory

It gnaws away at every passing moment

Its body stretches the length of the past

It chews through me—I can only endure

And eventually, must learn to endure

Perhaps, it is loneliness in another form

I find myself needing something

And I try to figure out what it is

Maybe happiness

Maybe something senseless to break the pattern

Maybe just the end of thought

At times like these, I envy their faith

But I, after all, am a blasphemer

So I walk into temples and cathedrals

Only to walk back out again

Draw a breath of smoke and sink into my fatigue

Ah, this fatigue is the worm itself

Is the heart that won’t stop pounding

At dusk, traffic lights tick through red and green

The church bell marks the hour with a distant chime

All of them get to rest eventually

Sirens and ominous birds may still cry through the night

Even as I hold my breath, I feel my heartbeat—

That worm has its own tragic rhythm

June 9, 2025