Monkey Business
A retrospective
A long while back, maybe my first year in Thailand, I was having a pretty lousy day. The Thai gal I was into at work had a boyfriend and oscillated between flirting with me and avoiding me like the plague depending on whatever was going on at home, at work, and with whatever other people were saying—which was largely out of my scope of awareness, at that point knowing little more than “Sa Wat Dii Khrap” and “Khap Khun Khrap” in terms of Thai language abilities.
Oh but I loved her. If I only knew what a headache she would become!
Well anyway, I was driving my motorbike home after feeling emotionally gutted for no apparent reason. I looked up, and there was a monkey eating garbage out of a trashcan. It looked at me in monkey shock. Yes, that’s right. I shocked the monkey. Peter Gabriel must have been singing in the distance.
Immediately, I burst out laughing uncontrollably, and my day completely turned around.
It was at that point that I realized, nothing beats a monkey eating garbage out of a trash can.
So friends, if your girlfriend leaves you, your wife takes the house and car, you find out that her so-called brother was her husband, or she finds out about your mia noi, just remember:
Nothing beats a monkey eating garbage out of a trash can.
Nothing!
Flash forward to a few months back, and I’m reading an English translation of the Story of Ape Sun Wu Kung—that ancient Chinese tale that has lived throughout the ages, through the Journey to the West, to a dozen films and other adaptations. I am struck by how in many ways, the tale mirrors the life of any sort of person put at odds with the world. Fighting for what they see as the hope of themselves, their people, their dignity and honor, etc.
Of course it’s even more complicated and abstract than that, and I am oversimplifying a classic story that I read in translation, and without even telling it.
Then one day, I had the pleasure of drinking a Hanuman, that Cambodian-German stout beer that you can sometimes find in Thailand if you are lucky. And what a beer! Like a Guinness but with the kick of the Monkey King in every drop.
I raise it up to take a picture of it in my hand. In front of me is a scantily clad Thai girl and beyond her is a crowd listening to a Thai band playing rock music. It’s a damn good picture.
I turn to my friend, and then discuss eagerly and drunkenly my romantic situations with the women in my life. He gives me his two cents. I finish my beer, and then another. I wander home in a pleasant sort of a stumble.
If there was a trash can on that night, then I might have eaten right out of it!
Instead, a small blue monkey stands in my path.
“Where do you think you are going?” He says, hands on his hips.
“Haha.” I say to him, “A Monkey.”
“You’re one to talk,” he retorts, “Having a good night, are we?”
“You could say that.”
“I just did.” Says the monkey. “And I’ll say it again.”
“Then do so.” I say.
“Having a good night, are we?”
“Why?, yes we are.” I say to the monkey. “So shall we have another?”
“Another what?” Says the monkey.
“Another good night, I mean.”
“Night, day, dusk, dawn…” the monkey seems about to elucidate on a point, but suddenly the praying mantis with the top hat is beside him.
“Slow down there, little fellow.” The praying mantis says with a chuckle. “There’ll be plenty more good nights ahead.”
“And pleasant days too.” Says the monkey.
They suddenly fade away, and I am left with the sight of a tuk tuk approaching.
He honks his horn, and I stumble out of his way.
A few moments later, and I’m at my apartment. I fall asleep, and I’m thinking about all sorts of pleasant things.
The morning comes too quickly.
